May 18, 2025
My experience with
Anxiety
in high school
If you haven’t already read my previous post about my experience with anxiety in primary school, I suggest you do to gain further background.
Throughout this article, I talk about my diagnosis with anxiety, and how it affected my high school experience.
Symptoms of anxiety
- Overthinking EVERYTHING; every look, comment, situation—for excessive periods of time
- Feeling disconnected from your mind, body, or surroundings
- Feeling like you’re dying or the world is going to end. A sense of impending danger
- Waking up with a deep sense of grief—for no reason. This feeling could last for days
- Claustraphobia
- Nervous poos and vomiting
- Constant migraines or stress-heeadaches for weeks at a time
- Sore tummies, turning, cramps & passing gas
- Feeling watched & judged 24/7
- Feeling faint or dizzy
- Uncontrollable episodes of crying
- Increased heart-rate and shortness of breathe
- Hot flushes, sweating
The peak of my anxiety - the worst day of my life
Transitioning to high school PETRIFIED me and I say that with my chest. I thought my world had flipped upside down. I’d heard about bullying, peer-pressure, smoking, drug exposure and all the big kids; I wasn’t ready for this chapter yet.
Mum couldn’t take me to my first day of school, so a friend of hers took me, who I didn’t know very well.
Before she arrived, I’d got myself into a panic, pasing to and from the bathroom to be sick. It was impossible to relax or distract myself. The fear took over my body and I experienced what I hadn’t known to be a panic attack!
Mums attempt to comfort me was telling me I was being silly and that I needed to get on with it as she laughed. Having not experienced anxiety herself, nor knowing what it was, this was an understandable response.
All 150 of us new students gathered in the school gym, taking a seat on the ground for a presentation. My claustrophobia kicked in, my stomach sore, failing to hold in a fart. Some people turned and stared in disgust, while others laughed.
We were later split up and sent to classrooms for assessments, where we sat at desks in silence. I felt like someone who’d been sent to prison. I couldn’t last 10 minutes without losing control of my body again, I needed to escape. I tried to work up the courage of asking to get fresh air, but I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I let out another nervous fart.
A teacher aid sat outside patiently with me, I don’t think she understood how horrible I was feeling either. She kept telling me to take deep breathes, which clearly wasn’t working for me. I just wanted to go home. This process of going into the classroom and having to come out to breath repeated twice more before the day was finally over.
I can’t describe how traumatising this day was for me. The next day my stomach muscles felt bruised from all the nervous cramping.
High school
They say that high school is one of the best periods of your life. Not mine!
It took me so long to make friends in high school, I felt like a burden following the same girls around that I’d met during the first day. I wouldn’t speak to anyone and I couldn’t help it. It was as if I was risking it all by just opening my mouth.
When I started to open up I’d change personalities to match the other person so they’d like me, changing my beliefs and values or agreeing with whatever they said?!! Nobody knew the real Annabelle, not even me.
Each morning we’d have school assembly. I’d make sure to arrive at school 10 minutes before so that I could mentally prepare myself. Our whole school would gather in the hall, and the teachers would go over news and updates.
Being around so many people in silence made me freak out! Most of the time I would have a panic attack and have to sit on the steps outside.
Classes were also tough. Some more than others. If the class was loud, my mind would be distracted. If it were quiet, I’d be stuck in my thoughts, inflicting my anxiousness.
Bullying
I experienced some bullying in my third year of high school. It started my old best friend spreading rumors. I lost a few friends over it. At the time, it felt like my whole life, when in reality nobody else cared about it but me.
I begged Mum and Dad to let me move to a new school in a different city, but they wouldn’t let me. And I’m glad they didn’t because it was a good lesson learning to ride out the wave.
I cared way too much about what people thought of me.
As soon as I got my liscence I started bunking school. The lady at the reception desk grew a hating towards me and my teachers started to comment on my attendance rate. How can you even explain to these people that you’re skipping school for self-protection, while they think I’m being rebellious.
Life at home
My family and I had a love-hate relationship growing up. We had the type of relationship where it felt uncomfortable to say “I’m proud of you” or compliment one another. We’d even try as hard as we could to keep a straight face if anyone ever said something funny. Trying not to give them the satisfaction
I would come home and take my anger and frustration out on my family. We’d constantly argue with one another. It was funny, because I actually cared about what they thought of me, particularly my dad and brother.
I never introduced my parents to any of my friends. Maybe because I was ashamed, I didn’t have many?
When I wasn’t at school, I would sit in my room, avoiding engagement with my parents. They’d rope me into helping them around the house or make me feel guilty for not doing anything. I already felt shit about it, but I just wanted to be left alone.
How I got through
Support from my Mum – Although my Mum didn’t understand me completely, she really tried and would be a shoulder to cry on if I ever needed it. She’d take me to doctor appointments and encourage me to see councillors
Supportive Dean – I had an amazing dean at school, Mrs B. She was aware of my anxiety. We sat down and created a ‘wellbeing plan,’ and she’d check in with me every couple of weeks to make sure I was on track. I’m so grateful to have had such a caring figure in school
GP – I visited the doctor, who was able to refer me to a government-funded counseling program. He also gave me some useful advise. In order to get over my social anxiety, I needed to face my fear and stand in the middle of the crowd. But little steps.
Counseling – Learning about my anxiety helped me understand the cause. Once you identify the root, you’re halfway to solving the problem. Talking to a trained professional made a huge difference. I felt understood, normal, and supported
Mentor – In my last year of high school, I was given a mentor who was able to guide me with what I wanted to do after school. Being a teenager can be stressful, so it was great to have a role-model figure demonstrate some guidance. My mentor was amazing.